Hello Nasties

One of my favourite Christmas presents as a youngster was a book called Horror Films, written by Nigel Andrews. It was full of glorious images from throughout the history of horror cinema, from silent classics such as The Cabinet Of Doctor Caligari and Nosferatu through to the then-contemporary ’80s slashers like Friday The 13th.

It was manna from heaven for a young horror fan with its full-colour spreads of vampires, werewolves and other iconic movie monsters, but the pages that fascinated me the most came later in the book in a section titled Horror 1980s Style. The movie stills here were far more graphic and lurid than those found earlier in the book – a pack of ghouls munching away on the innards of some unfortunate victim and a woman’s decapitated head that looked a little bit TOO realistic – with titles I’d never seen in the video shop like Zombie Flesh-Eaters and Nightmares In A Damaged Brain. These were the infamous Video Nasties.

In the early ’80s a loophole in film classification laws meant that unlike cinema releases, movies distributed on video cassette didn’t have to undergo the scrutiny of the British Board Of Film Classification (BBFC). This led to a deluge of uncensored, low-budget, usually European horror and exploitation movies that pushed – and in many cases smashed to smithereens – the boundaries of good taste in a bid to quench the thirst of the growing home video market.

With eye-rolling inevitability, a moral panic followed. Fronted by legendary busybody Mary Whitehouse and with backing from the tabloid press and rent-a-quote politicians, the Video Nasties furore eventually saw the implementation of the Video Recordings Act 1984. Shops were raided, tapes were seized and a distributer was even jailed for releasing an uncensored version of the aforementioned Nightmares In A Damaged Brain.

A list of Video Nasties was drawn up by the Director Of Public Prosecutions, divided into Sections Two and Three. Seizure of Section Two films could lead to the prosecution of a dealer or distributer for disseminating obscene materials, while Section Three films could be confiscated without the need for prosecution. In the end, 72 films made it onto the Section Two list with 39 titles being successfully prosecuted.

This all passed me by at the time. I’d heard the phrase ‘Video Nasty’ but not being of an age to read the papers or watch TV news I really didn’t understand what was going on. What I did understand by the time I got my Horror Films book on Christmas Day in the mid ’80s is that there was a bunch of amazing-looking horror films that I had no chance of seeing.

I finally got my first glimpse of some of these elusive movies in the early ’90s when a few of them started appearing in heavily cut form on home video, with two notable titles being The Evil Dead and Zombie Flesh-Eaters, but things really started to change in 1999 with the retirement of the BBFC’s overzealous director James Ferman. Despite never being on the official Video Nasties list, The Exorcist was something of a bête noir for Ferman due to the young age of the possessed girl Reagan, but once he was out the door it was soon deemed safe enough for an uncut home release. This was swiftly followed by another infamous name in at the annals of horror movie history, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which had been one of the Section Three Video Nasties. Amazingly, the release of these movies didn’t bring about the end of civilisation.

After that, the floodgates opened and a number of previously ‘obscene’ films were passed uncut for the first time. In a lot cases you really had to wonder what all the fuss had been about in the first place. While you still wouldn’t show SS Experiment Camp to your grandma, many of the Nasties were really quite tame by today’s standards, with some of them eventually being downgraded to a 15 certificate. Today, only 10 of the Nasties remain banned, mainly due to not having being resubmitted for classification, and other than violence against animals (quite rightly), most of the others are available completely uncut.

With companies like Arrow Video and 88 Films now restoring and releasing these previously persecuted titles in glorious high-definition, there’s never been a better time to check out some Video Nasties. Here are five of my favourites …

The Evil Dead
Sam Raimi’s cabin-in-the-woods classic was dubbed ‘the number one Nasty’ by Mary Whitehouse, which only gives weight to the theory that she didn’t actually watch any of the movies she was condemning, often making her judgement based on title alone. While there’s plenty of violence on offer, it’s far more cartoonish than a lot of the other Nasties and is served with a huge dollop of jet-black humour. Although I don’t much care for the sequels and the cult worship of Bruce Campbell, The Evil Dead is still a tour-de-force of low-budget film-making that leaves you worn out by the time the credits roll.

The Burning
Although considered by many as a rip-off of the suspiciously similar Friday The 13th, The Burning is a summer camp slasher that more than holds its own when it comes to blood and guts, thanks to the majestic gore effects of Tom Savini. Despite never reaching the same level of public recognition as his hockey-masked rival, Cropsey’s raft massacre alone earns him a place among the top-tier of ’80s slashers, and perhaps the lack of a sequel trilogy to diminish the impact only serves to strengthen his legend.

Zombie Flesh-Eaters
What’s not to love about a movie that features an underwater zombie facing-off against a shark? This is top-level Fulci with a sublime score from Fabio Frizzi.

The Beyond
Another classic from Fulci, The Beyond takes the traditional undead template and turns the bonkers knob aaaaaaaalllll the way up to eleven. Lacking any kind of coherent plot, it’s hard to keep track of what’s going on but with this much trademark Fulci madness on offer, a plot would only get in the way of all the fun.

Cannibal Holocaust
One of the few Video Nasties that lives up to its notoriety even today, Cannibal Holocaust doesn’t hold back when it comes to outrageous gore and sexual violence. Some argue that the film is actually much deeper than it initially appears with its themes of social commentary, while director Ruggero Deodato insists all he wanted to do was make a movie about cannibals. Either way, Cannibal Holocaust is certain to leave its mark on even the most hardened horror movie fans.

*Note: This is a very brief overview of the Video Nasties panic. For the full story check out any of the numerous excellent books, documentaries and websites that are out there.

 

 

 

 

Are You Ready For Freddy?

The first I heard of A Nightmare On Elm Street was, naturally, from my mother. Her friend at work had seen it on a double-bill with an unknown cannibal movie (I like to imagine it was Cannibal Holocaust. What a double-bill!) and told her it was the scariest thing she had ever seen.

Like any responsible parent, my mother rented it from the video shop at the first opportunity and brought it home for some fun-time family viewing. In those days it took a while for films to get a UK video release, so if Elm Street hit cinemas in 1984 I imagine I would have seen it some time in 1985. I was nine years old.

Although I was no stranger to horror films, I’d NEVER seen anything on this level before. Here was a bad guy who could get you in your dreams! Everybody has to sleep! There was no escape from Freddy Krueger! The Springwood Slasher was a far more creepy and sleazy character than I’d experienced up to that point. It felt icky just watching him. You got the feeling that a knife-fingered glove to the stomach might not be the worst thing he could do to you.

While most kids probably found that idea terrifying (and to be fair, I did too), I became obsessed. Freddy was my thing that I was into. I remember excitedly telling a teacher at school that I’d seen the film (I’d probably be taken into care these days). The first VHS tape I owned was A Nightmare On Elm Street. I had books. I had comics. I had posters. I had a board game. I (unsuccessfully) tried to make my own replica glove. I was in deep.

And feeding my obsession was a steady flow of sequels, with a new one seemingly appearing with each trip to the video shop. It didn’t matter to me at the time that they weren’t as good as the first one – all Nightmares were equal in my eyes.

The fact that Freddy got more and more cartoonish with each instalment only encouraged my mania. The more corny the one-liner and the more absurd the kill, the more I liked it. Freddy’s working someone like a puppet with their own arteries?! Bring it on! His head is coming out of the top of the TV?! Yesssssss! He’s a giant snake now?! Encore! Encore! I was so caught up in the rollercoaster ride I didn’t realise that Freddy was drifting further and further away from what made him such a sinister proposition in the first place.

We’re in an era now where any nerd culture sidekick can get their own bobblehead, so younger horror fans might not understand just how massive Freddy was back in his heyday. He had a spin-off TV show, he released a greatest hits album, he was in video games, he was a guest VJ on MTV (that was a TV channel that used to play music videos, young ’uns!), he rapped with the Fat Boys and there was even a talking doll. Think about that for a moment. Here was a figurine of a hideously-burned, probably paedophilic child murderer marketed directly to children! What a time to be alive! Have no doubt about it, for a large chunk of the ’80s, Freddy was a pop culture icon as recognisable as any rock star or Hollywood actor.

By the time Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare came out in 1991 I was 16. Although the film was rated 18 I managed to get into the cinema to see it in what was my first big-screen horror experience. There was no way in hell I was going to miss the death of Freddy in 3D (I’ve still got the glasses somewhere in the attic). While the 3D wasn’t exactly mind-blowing I considered it a fine send-off and in my youthful naivety, I genuinely thought that was the last I’d see of the bastard son of a hundred maniacs.

Being a fan was different in those days. We weren’t so obsessed with preserving the past so after that ‘final’ instalment, it was over and I moved on to other things. Wes Craven’s New Nightmare came out a few years later but it wasn’t the same, then in the early 2000s we got the big showdown we’d supposedly all been waiting for, Freddy Vs Jason. I never thought it was that inspiring of an idea to begin with but what we got was a letdown by any standard.

I still love the original Nightmare On Elm Street. Sure, there’s a bit of nostalgia involved but it’s still a stone-cold classic and it deserves its place among the greats in horror Valhalla. As for the sequels, I’m sad to say that I find most of them hard to watch these days. Although the homoerotic S&M themes of Freddy’s Dead were lost on me as a youngster I can now appreciate just how weird and bizarre that movie truly was. Freddy stayed mostly in the shadows and remained a genuine threat. After that, he just flat-out stopped being scary. The quips that I loved as a kid make me wince now, and not in a good way. Even the burn make-up, which looked so slimy and putrid in the first film, began to look more and more like a child-friendly rubber mask with each instalment. It was an ignominious ending for a character who had initially inspired so much fear.

But, despite my feelings now, I can’t ever hate these movies. They played too big a part in my formative years. They’re like an old photograph featuring an especially embarrassing haircut you thought was so cool at the time (it wasn’t really a haircut, just really long hair). You might hide it in a box and put it up in the attic out of sight, but you can’t bring yourself throw it away forever. Sometimes it’s fun to look back at who you were, even if it does make you cringe.

 

 

It’s Showtime!

If there’s a heaven and I get to go there when I die, it’ll be an ’80s-era video shop. It won’t be a Blockbuster or anything fancy like that, it’ll be in the back room of a corner shop and feel slightly seedy, with an infinite selection of horror movies that are never out on rental. This is how I remember my early video shop visits as a youngster and as much as I love a high-definition Blu-Ray, there’s a part of me that will forever mourn the loss of these dens of cinematic iniquity.

My first trip to such a place came, unsurprisingly, not long after my dad brought home our first video recorder. The endless rows of chunky, clamshell VHS cases must have been overwhelming for my young mind because even though I already loved scary movies, I also wanted to see all of the same films any seven or eight year old would want to see in the 1980s. This was a golden age of low-budget straight-to-video gems where each cover artwork looked more outrageous and action-packed than the next, with ninjas, fully-armed Vietnam vets and Boogaloo Shrimps as far as the eye could see.

As tempting as these delights were, after a bit of friendly encouragement from my old man to “make my mind up”, I made my decision. It was Creepshow. It’s no mystery why I chose Creepshow, just take a look at the VHS artwork. It looks scary but it also looks like a cartoon, which is something any kid can instantly understand. And it’s an anthology movie, which meant I was getting not one, but five scary stories to watch. Who could resist?

I ask you, is there a better gateway movie for a young fright fan? You’ve got zombies, body horror, vengeful spirits, monsters, creepy crawlies and even a bit of voodoo. It’s a greatest hits of horror, presented like a comic book come-to-life, all bright colours and dark humour. And who better to take a young boy’s movie innocence than Romero, King and Savini? I didn’t know the names at the time but these three legends would come to mean so much to me in the coming years.

Ever with an eye on his wallet, my dad wisely chose to rent videos on a Friday night which meant they didn’t have to go back until the Monday. I’m pretty sure I watched Creepshow as soon as we arrived home, then watched it again on the Saturday and Sunday. I especially enjoyed rewinding the part where the roaches burst out of the old man, watching it again and again and again. I’d never seen anything like that before and I was horrified, but I just couldn’t turn my eyes away. This was a different beast entirely to the Hammer classics I’d been watching.

If there’s one movie responsible for cementing my love of horror it’s this one. There are others I like more now but I’ll still go back to Creepshow time and time again because it’s just so much fun. I don’t believe that people are defined by the films they watch, the music they listen to or the books that they read, but life pivots on spur-of the-moment decisions and I feel my choice in the video shop that day has led me down a stranger and more interesting path than it might have had I picked a Disney movie instead. Who knows what kind of horrors THAT could have unleashed? I dread to think …